Warning: Extreme Semi-Confessional Wordiness

Greetings to all! I hope that all of you have adjusted to college life as well as John has (as if there was any doubt), but if you are feeling like, "Wow this isn't what I expected", "I miss my Ingram peeps", or in my slightly-autistic case, "holycrapholycrap i am definitely overstimulated and i can't seem to concentrate on what I need to do so instead I pull all nighters all the time and i think that in order to keep my overachieveing ways I need to rethink my schedule or stop caring altogether" , I feel you, Homes!
And here is a piece of advice (even though I am hardly qualified to dispense any sort of wisdom at this point but i'm going to anyway so put that in your pipe and smoke it) for all those who may be feeling a little, ah, overwhelmed, coming from someone who has recently expereinced this---unless you want to be a masochist, do not go home. (Unless you go to school not very far away or you are planning to stay more than a weekend) I have found this out the hard way. Kristen and I carpooled home two weekends ago (she had wanted to see her Dad before he left for a month in Africa) and it was horrible. First of all, we ended up getting home way late because of the traffic in Austin (Friday is the worst, I think it is proven or common sense or something) which I really did not mind because once I got home, I was so happy. It's really crazy that I did not realize how much I was looking forward to seeing my family and Matthew ( yes I am still smitten with Mr. Willis) until I was there. And I don't know if y'all have noticed this yet, but when you do finally go home it's like your family is ten times better than the family you remember before you moved out..stuff that you do that would have incited a household meltdown is either patiently overlooked or casually dismissed, the food is better, the bed you slept on for 8 years suddenly feels like a cloud, and you are literally smothered with affection all the waking hours of the day. In short, I had a really good time, but, paradoxically, when distracted by thoughts of school and projects, it added to my anxiety at the same time. While all these endorphins and general feel-good warm fuzzies going on, I knew it wouldn't last, and I anticipated the crash. And did I ever. Where I was relatively well-adjusted before I left for that fateful weekend, it took going home to realize all of these latent feelings and to reopen the old wound and for me to feel so fricken sad. It was a real low point..I basically broke down and felt really inmotivated and sorry for myself. It was really scary and pathetic, a point that I hope I will never reach agian in my life. So in summation (I'm sorry if this post is long and semi-didactic, I just really don't want you guys to feel like I did), if you do not have time to really enjoy your time at home, don't go. I have realized that it would have been wiser for me to wait and establish more of a foundation for me here than to go home and be reminded of everyhting before I had completely adjusted. And the funny thing is, I thought that I had.
But on a lighter and more optimistic note, (since last week, which will live on in imfamy as Lauren's crappiest (relatively) 7 day interval ever) my classes are the schiz. They really do not waste time (the powers at be in the Architecture department anyway) letting you know if this is where you want to be ( I'm only taking one non-Architecture class--Psychology). I have turned in 2 projects already (I got A's on both of them--he used them as examples:) and I slayed my first exam with an A as well. But it is hard. God, give me strength, it is so hard. I won't get into the details, but in my most important classes (Honors Studio and my computing class) everything was Greek to me, and it was scary to be in that situation, where I felt like I was the only one that didn't know what they were doing and that I, Lauren Hensley, was having to play catch-up at least 80% of the time. So in conclusion, these past few weeks have been humbling, but I am being exposed to so many realms of interesting things that I knew practically nothing about before I came here. In my ENDS 170 class, for instance, we finished up in Photoshop (which I have came to absolutely love..why didn't I get into this sooner) and we are fixing to start Dreamweaver and Flash, so right now I'm in the process of learning html :) , and in studio I am currently building formwork for my plaster sculpture and my site plan for my "behavioral setting." But I have rambled on long enough and have explioted this post as an outlet for my inner turmoil long enough, so here is a thought: don't be strangers. If you guys ever need anything, ever want someone to talk to, I'm only a phone call away ( I keep really weird hours, so you probably will not wake me up). Seriously, I get curious about how you guys are doing. But anyway, I'm just puttin' it out there. You can take it, or send it right on back. :) thanks and gig 'em.